Nothing good happens in winter.

What if I told you I could hold all your wishes in the palm of my hand? Would you believe me if I told you that I can stretch out my fingers across any ocean and grab all the stars above them in one move? I blow them out like petals to a flower. Make a wish. My empathy for you has turned into pain, but. I like it. It keeps me warm through the wind stinging my cheeks. Crying never felt so bad before until you cry in the cold. Every tear stings your frozen face. Makes you wonder. Why is it that everything bad happens in winter? Is it because its the time where mourning and sorrow hurt the most? Happiness is a warm gun. Something about the weather change always flashes me back to a better time. When studying was fun and everyone was alive and well. Christmas was fun, and snow was fun, and we decorated for the holidays. From pumpkins to turkeys to a tree. One by one everything fell. Hi, hello, hey there. You're an adult. Naturally every thing you hold onto represents childhood. You're not naive, you're just trying to stay happy. I grab up all the stars in one scoop. I hold them so tight that my hand starts to bleed. So much hope, so much faith into nothing. Why? For what? Dusty books you never finish. Tye dye dreams of laughter and friendship. Imaginary friends to make up for the fact that no one is ever really there for you.Your narcissistic complex you've given yourself to counteract the fact that underneath all of it you really think your thighs are too big, your cheeks are too round, your breasts are too small, your...stop. Remember a goofy face. Remember a girl not much smaller than you sitting beside you as you sob like you have never sobbed before. Remember the yearning, the want, the pain, of wishing for him to be the one sitting beside you. Now he pretends like you two never even met. All while smiling pretending not to care, I'm repairing the giant CRACK that has manifested itself into my heart from all the pressure around in within the past five years. Ultimately, all alone. Blink blink blink. She said she could fly. Told her not to. Once you go up, you won't want to come down. Reality hits. boom. Its gone. Guess what? That one time you had that made you feel alive and restored your faith in people, yeah that was A YEAR AGO. All blotched up. I keep dancing hoping that it will all melt away but it just always comes right back. Rent a book, watch a series. Completely obsess over fictional characters and their love for each other. They're really you're only friends, you know. Heartbreak is literally your only company. Its too cold to cry. Your body betrays you and your friends aren't really your friends. You hide under the covers and discover the power of magic through a small rectangular screen. Come to think of it, I've always done this shit on my own. The fights, the anger, the heartbreak, the creation, the dancing, the imagination. You've always been there for yourself. Never fear. Mascara is only as strong as you allow it to be. I release the stars from my hands and blow them back where they belong. They were never my wishes to begin with. Then again nothing is ever really mine. Especially during the winter.