Hi, My name is Rachel Anne Atkins.

I don't like it when you won't listen to what I have to say. I don't like it when you interrupt me while I'm trying to explain something important or meaningful. I don't like it when I'm used. I don't like it when you live so far away from me. I don't like it when I don't have money. I don't like it when I am awake. I don't like smoking marijuana, because it doesn't get me high enough anymore. I don't like looking like a child. I don't like being treated like a little girl. I don't like it when things are taken for granted. I don't like it when my iPod doesn't charge. I don't like it when all I want to do is scream, but I can't because people will think I am crazy. I don't like caring about what certain people think. I don't like that everyone thinks I am just looking for a "good time." I don't like that even though I KNOW there isn't a reason for everything, I still try to find one. I don't like it when you ignore me. I don't like it when you don't see the beauty I have inside. I don't like it when you don't take my hand as I'm reaching for you. I don't like it when I can't catch the dragon. I don't like it when nobody laughs at my jokes. I don't like being called naive or immature, because I am not. I don't like boys who just want their dick wet. I don't like having emotions all the time. I don't like seeing two sides of myself battle constantly. I hate it when you don't reply to my texts. I hate it when you don't understand what I am talking about or what my intentions are. I am not evil. If evil were to be defined, I would not be it. I am a very nice person. I fucking HATE it when you leave me outside by myself because you don't want to be around me. I can't stand it when you take what I say the wrong way. I hate that I don't have enough money to go to the movies and escape from my life for two hours or so. I hate it when a song I love is over. I miss dancing with someone who cares about me in their bedroom. I don't like writing papers; I don't like reading books that I don't relate to. I hate it when I don't know what to do about a situation. I can't stand it when I lose someone I love for good. I hate it even worse when they're still there, but slowly slipping away. I don't like not being able to connect with you. I wish someone would send me mail. I hate it when I want to cry, but I can't. I hate that Post Secret only updates weekly, and that allmylovingg won't load on my computer. I want to say I miss high school, but I know I don't. At all. I can't stand it when I fail, even more so when I have to face the failure everyday. I hate not being near a big city. I hate that even if I were near a big city, nothing would change. I hate that my first thought after I wake up is, "Why did I have to wake up?" I can't stand headaches, especially the ones I get from crying too hard. I want to be in love again so badly. I hate it when I break out, or when my hair looks shitty. I hate that my hair is short and curly. I miss my father. I hate that I dream about him being alive and being so happy about it, only to wake up and find that I was only dreaming. I can't stand not being able to paint my nails because of work. I hate that good shows cost money that I still don't have. I hate that I'm not in an environment to where I can learn about everything I want to learn, and nothing that I don't. I hate that I'm not athletic and can't do sports well. I want to be a speaker. I want love to flow through my veins. I want to be an Alaska. I don't like awkward sexual advances people always make. I don't like it when people I don't know touch me. I hate it when old men stare, and the next time one does, I'm going to pick my nose. I can't believe I keep making mistakes. I want to make at least better ones. I hate it when my mistakes are always dangled over not only my head, but my heart as well. I hate feeling lost. I don't like this world. I am angry.