Its honestly like a railroad train decided to change courses and aim for my chest.
I miss you.
But, I don't have to tell you that, do I? You know.
I'm tired of this longing sensation that I have never felt before. As much as I tell myself to STOP IT, it gets worse each and everyday. I try to put the brakes on. Really, I do. You can give me credit for at least that.
I sleep. It feels nice. My dreams are everything I've been wishing my reality to be every night. Then I wake up, and I expect to see you there. And you're not. I know that. I sigh, get up, then repeat the whole day again thinking of you the whole time.
See, I can post this because I know you won't read it.
I keep giving myself little hints of hope that either make me or break me.
I'm tired of crying.
Doesn't mean I don't still cry.
I'm tired of hurting.
Doesn't mean I don't still hurt.
I'm tired of wishing, hoping, dreaming of everything coming back together.
But I still do.
I guess you can say its my own fault for letting it get to me so bad.
Or maybe its my own fault for loving you in the first place when I told myself not to.
It hurts.
My brain is constantly buzzing, now.
I have to turn it off.
I have to go to bed.
You are my sweetest downfall.
iloveyou.
The one red leaf, the last of its clan, that dances as often as dance it can.
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