There might be more to this than pure understanding. Maybe the point IS to confuse and throw you into chaos. Maybe it isn't really chaos, it's just perceived that way. Day after day, week, month, year, we meet people who will change our lives. Maybe not significantly, maybe not in a good way, but the chaos includes altercations that not only redirect your path, but make you "who" you "are." And, even if you're stuck in a shitty small town, with the laziest resources known to man. Even if you have to face dilemmas beyond your capability of handling (Which is untrue, otherwise you wouldn't be here,) or understanding. Even when you lose faith in the one thing you knew you shouldn't have put your faith in in the first place. Because, you see, you can be given all the fluffy nice happy things in the world. The order of things can be given to you in the form of candy, orgasms, drugs, laughter, love, friendship, trust. But it will all fall down when the exact opposite is handed to you. You'll be stuck in a somewhat of a limbo. And, maybe that's the point. And maybe I don't make sense. Maybe I am flawed beyond belief. Maybe I'm the key to salvation. Maybe. But if we're always stuck on the maybes, ifs, buts, and whys, WE WILL GO INSANE. Fuck. Maybe we are all already insane. But the fact of the matter is. I will never understand why I am so confused. I will never understand why things happen the way they do. I will never understand anything that I live through or go by. But, that's okay. Because neither do any of the other motherfuckers in this world. And those who think they do are ignorant. Which is also okay. To each his own. So why waste the valued spare time we have questioning this place? I mean, is good to question and wonder, that's what makes you smart, but we're all just running in circles. There is no such thing as "good" or "bad." There's the difference between trusting and betraying. But not everything is black and white or biblical. However, there are these "things." That just make you not give a flying fuck about why nothing makes sense, or why our language doesn't even follow our own thoughts. These "things" make you just happy, but can DESTROY you as well. They're people. Friends. Love. Happiness. Its all a revolving door, and we may not understand why we're in a revolving door. Or why we can't get to either of the ends, but we're in there with our friends, and we find it hilarious that we're just going in circles in a public revolving door, THIS MAY NOT MAKE ANY SENSE. But that's okay. It's all okay. I'm okay. Because that's just the way things work. I may not like it. I may not understand it. But that's it. We can all just spare the sarcasm and smile while we're here, right?