I could sleep for days.

<--Dreaming makes things just a tad better.-->

I'm tired. I'm tired of you. I'm tired of not having a family anymore. I'm tired of not being able to keep my friends anymore. I'm tired of not having any use to anyone; not having any worth. I'm tired of this school and these god damned people that run it. I'm tired of not getting what I want, and I'm tired of wanting things I know I can't have. I'm tired of sex. I'm tired of drugs. I'm tired of vague memories that give me false hope for things like them to happen. I'm tired of this god forsaken city in this hell hole of a state. I'm tired of this whole fucking world. But most of all? I'm tired of the fact that no matter how tired I am about anything, I can't do shit about it.

I'm tired of longing for a Chicago. I'm tired of not being near a big city with huge lights. I'm tired of not having an excuse of ruining myself. I'm tired of aesthetic pretenses. I'm tired of beautiful storylines and measures. I'm tired of wishing to be in Alabama instead. I'm tired of making art that only lasts for a performance or two. I'm tired of hiding and not being able to ride my fucking merry-go-round horse with the blue eye. I'm tired of longing to tear up the night and never actually doing it. I'm tired of reaching for a hand that I know will not grab mine. I am so fucking tired of lying to myself and everyone around me. I'm tired of sunshine not leaking through me. I'm tired of not being able to get everything in one sentence. I'm tired. I am really fucking tired.